Sit with the discomfort

Ever since I can remember, I have tried to run from pain and discomfort, whether emotional, mental or physical. I, instead, would obsess, wonder, escape, run away, ask why, or inquire how long it would last. I wanted to feel good and would do whatever it took, pay tons of money, to make myself feel better. I HAD to feel better, my life depended on it, I would say!

One day, I decided to sit with the discomfort and go into the pain. Below are some things I learned along the way:

Many times our body stores our emotional pain that eventually can come out in disease or sickness. So I like to get into a room where I know I won’t be disrupted and I tune into my body. I start at my head, putting all of my focus on my head, and I see and feel what comes up. When I feel empty emotionally, I move on to the next body part and start the process again. I slowly make my way down my whole body. In doing this, it has allowed me to freely release the stored pain so I can move on.

In addition, I realized that when I made a decision to sit with my discomfort, my pain, and breathe through it, I discovered it wasn’t unbearable. I could totally handle it!! Doing deep breathing to calm myself down, I discovered it was my RESISTANCE to it that made it unbearable.

I don’t thank my body enough! I put it through a lot without every really appreciating ALL of its wonder and beauty. So I will say right now, I am so grateful for my body and its strength, endurance and love for me. It has taken on all of my pain so I could do what I do.

I would like to practice slowing down, listening more and being more gentle and present. Today I am breathing.

Flip it!

If you have ever taught or observed a teacher in action, you will find that in most moments the instructor is reminding students to pay attention, sit in their seat, stop talking, try harder, do better. Notice, where is the focus? It is very natural to ignore all of the many things going right and put your attention on the one thing going wrong. We do it to ourselves and each other all of the time! Our society is constantly focused on all of the negative situations occurring. I mean just watch a news program. What do you hear? Do you feel better about things or more depressed.

When a teacher has awareness and makes a choice to notice and voice out loud all of the positive occurrences going on, and see students in a positive way, students thrive and you end up seeing even more positive situations.

You can take this same principle and apply it to our problems, concerns, relationships, jobs, everything in our life. When I have a problem and I sit there thinking about it, focusing on it, worrying about it, nothing changes except I feel worse and discouraged. When I remember, and that is the crucial element here, to focus my attention on a solution, it arrives at the right time.

For instance, you might have an idea or interest in something and you have no idea how to make it happen. What you can do is focus on your idea, the feeling it produces, and trust that a solution comes. Again, I am not trying to figure it out. Instead, I am focusing on what I want and affirming that the solution comes at the right time.

There are SO many things going right in our life. Focus on that. Feel it. And when things come up, flip it. Affirm there is a solution, know it, feel it and let go.

That’s where magic happens.

One day you may meet a stranger or you see an old friend who points you in the right direction and in that moment, you get it. You don’t need to have it all figured out. But it is your right to dream, to do what you love, to celebrate your life and be happy! So flip it. Where is your focus?

Today I was reminded of the beauty that continues to happen with our awareness or not. So set your intent and trust the universe to fill in the details … pay attention to the nudges and watch the synchronicity of your life.

#peforthesoul #inspiration #shamanicpassagesinstitute

In memory of Sweeper 2005-2018

She was lost, I remind myself. I watched her decline over the year and every time I thought this might be it, after a bad week, she bounced back and appeared to be herself.

Kind of.

She still walked into walls, got stuck in odd places, didn’t know if I was home or not, twitched, paced, walked in circles but she didn’t appear to be suffering or hurting. I remember one time, there were so few lately, I walked onto the porch and she looked up at me, right at me. There you are! I beamed. She beamed!

Those moments were rare and worth it. I was told it’s her brain. I often wondered…her quality of life…sleeping all day, incontinence, but she ate, kind of. Sure, I felt I had to bring the bowl to her mouth at times or help her locate her water…but she didn’t appear to be suffering. At times I tried to walk her, even though it was about two houses down before we returned. I brought her up to me and snuggled (as she always loved before) and tried to guide her but mostly she wanted down, to wander, stare, walk in circles, pace, until she made it to her bed.

I pushed all feelings aside for a year, found myself snapping at others, irritable, and it weighed on me. Is she in her private hell? I tried to read what she wanted or needed in each moment but she appeared lost.

I took a day off and the night before, she started to cry. She stood there in her bed, not wanting to lie down, look at how skinny she is. You’re not happy. I picked her up and rocked and snuggled with her until she fell asleep.

As usual, in the middle of the night, I woke up to her crying. I helped get her settled and the next day, my day off, she just started crying while standing in her bed. I tried to rock her, no good, she kept crying, whining.

I made the call.

I wrapped her up and rocked her until she fell asleep. She stopped crying.

Dearest Sweeper, I have missed you for a year. My jogging partner, my therapy dog, my ‘go everywhere we go’ girl, my protector, my friend, my excited and happy and friendly and jumping up and down, sweet and accepting mate. I have so missed you. It hits me, the painful year, where I pushed all my feelings aside a lot, hits me hard and I can’t stop crying. I miss you so much.

The guilt that comes with saying goodbye looks at me squarely in the face, and so I write. Sweeper, have you been found? #pet #animalcompanion

Thanksgiving thoughts

 

As I take time off for Thanksgiving break, I am reminded of all I am grateful for. I know some of you are struggling, sick, depressed, hurting in some way. For that reason, the Holidays can be a challenging and sad time for some. Please take comfort in knowing, this too shall pass. In my most painful moments in my life, when I was in it, it felt like it would last forever. There appeared no end in sight. It was scary and overwhelming.

I can’t know exactly how You feel.

I can’t.

I can only share that I have lived through my own terror – surprised that I made it. During my most challenging times, I reached out and asked for help. I allowed myself to feel and grieve. When ready, I allowed myself the pleasure of distraction, if only for a second, and turned away from the dread. I listened to myself. I looked into the mirror and gave a hug and declared “I love you.” When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I focused on all that I was thankful for…and one day, I realized I didn’t need to try anymore. It passed … and this continues to be the case.

No matter where you are at, I send you so much love during this time of Thanksgiving.

#inspiration #peforthesoul #shamanicpassagesinstitute

The mirror

I am coming up on 20 years of marriage and 23 years together. In looking back, I am most grateful that Will didn’t quit on me. I am most grateful for the mentors and teachers along the way. When I would cry my eyes out and blame him for this or that, I was guided to the most aware teachers in my life. They would often stop me in my tracks and return the focus back on me. They would ask me, “what is this bringing up for you?” They would ask all the right questions until I remembered that I was the master of my happiness and the sky was the limit.

Will is my best friend. He has been the most perfect mirror reflecting back to me all that I could conceive. I have chosen to love one day at a time. I have chosen to show up. I have chosen to forgive time and again as he has had to as well.

When we met my capacity to accept and give unconditional love was very low but I had no idea at the time.

23 years later, my heart is so full…full of love, acceptance and an excitement of new beginnings for our next exciting chapter. The sky is the limit and I am so grateful I have you, my best friend, to walk this journey with me.

#soulmates #peforthesoul #thesoulmatespath

REWIND, Create a New Story

Many of us have an experience. And in that experience, we determine if we want to experience it again. We make a statement about it and we create a story that determines our path ever after.

Let me give you a personal example. I once tried a yoga class. It was so hard and rigorous that my legs and arms were shaking as I left the class. At the time, I was experiencing anxiety in my life. This shaking created more anxiety for me, thinking something must be wrong with me. So the story I created was that I hate yoga classes and they are not for me. If I did yoga, it was at my own at home and it was a routine that worked for me.

The end.

Or so I thought.

There came a time in my life when I wanted to change my life. I wanted to create more joy, adventure and fun. So I imagined my new life on a regular basis, the one I wanted to create, and I set my intent. One day I was about to tell this yoga instructor that she could take me off her mailing list, that yoga classes are not for me. And I paused. I asked myself, “Why not?” Needless to say, I went to her class and loved it so much, I now cannot imagine not going to her yoga class. This happened because I was open to change. I was open to creating a new story.

Our story, the one we continue to remind our self of, dictates our behavior which in turn creates our experiences. What if you decided to change your story? What If you decided to create a new one? What If? I dare you.
#manifest #create