I will never forget feeling the call to move very far away. I was in my twenties at the time and for as long as I could remember, I struggled with finding my place in the world. I remember thinking that moving to this city would open a whole new world for me. I wanted a very diverse experience and this city had everything I wanted so I heeded the call.
I decided to travel there first and get my bearings, considering employment and travel. However, a couple of days after I arrived, I was stunned to discover that I panicked. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with depression and fear. Everything was so different, a whole new world to discover, and I froze. The reality of it left me paralyzed and I started to beat myself up, disgusted by my weakness.
Thankfully, I called a friend who encouraged me to accept exactly how I felt and not make it wrong. We are often hard on ourselves, pushing, pushing to be stronger, better. I will always be thankful and remember her fondly for her kindness and wisdom. Marcia allowed me to be where I was at emotionally and her guidance changed the course of my life.
She suggested taking a baby step and had a great idea! A couple of months later, I moved to a city, similar to the one I visited but within my current state, and I went my way.
I discovered that moving to that big city across the country would not have been right for me at that time. There were unexpected changes months later that confirmed I made the right decision and I was forever grateful!
Its ok to be afraid. We don’t have to do anything. But if the nudge is strong, sometimes a baby step, or a more simple plan is all we need.
If I look back on my life, the biggest decisions were not made by thinking, worrying, obsessing, wondering, and trying to figure it out on my own.
In times of big decision, it all became crystal clear when I quieted my mind and felt loving guidance.
You don’t have to DO anything! We were conditioned at a young age to be, do, go, meet, see. It was almost unnatural to just sit and be and do nothing. But in times of change, that is sometimes what we most need.
I feel most empowered when I turn my mind off and affirm that everything is working out for my highest and greatest good. I can’t see the big picture but I truly believe that a greater part of me can.
What works for me is affirming/feeling what I want to create and allowing the universe to unfold naturally. If I don’t know what I want, then I affirm that “I have clarity.” I do this when I am worried or stressed about something. I stop the chatter and turn it over to Spirit, affirming that it works out for the greater good of all. Sure, we call that faith. But if you struggle with that, know that energy is energy and where your attention goes, your life flows. So focus that the solution is here and stop the fear-based chatter.
Allow things to flow naturally. Smell the flowers or walk through the snow, look up at the sky and watch the hawks do their dive. Life is glorious. It all works out.
Many of us spend a lifetime feeling unworthy. We may feel we have come far in our life, worked through many difficulties, succeeded in much and are actively trying to create the life we deserve…and then we dig a little more and realize we have much more to do. Maybe there are still feelings of shame, guilt, fear. Maybe they creep up on us suddenly and we realize that fear is the most comfortable feeling we know! It is so familiar, like an old worn out blanket.
If struggles continue to happen even when you are actively trying to manifest what you want, one reason might be that deep down you feel that you don’t deserve it.
I was given great advice once from two different sources and one day it clicked.
Find an old picture of you when you were totally happy, innocent and filled with love. Look for a picture that reminds you of the love and sweetness and joy that you are. Find a picture of you that makes you smile when you see it. I truly believe that our true essence is love but it can get buried along the way in the hard task of navigating through this thing called life. So once you have your picture, focus on it regularly…focus on the light that you are. As you focus on this light, it will grow and expand expelling that darkness.
This exercise is so healing and a reminder of our worth . . . just because. We will slip, we will fall, but we will better accept and appreciate ourselves and recognize our worth. When we feel worthy, the sky is the limit.
If you have ever taught or observed a teacher in action, you will find that in most moments the instructor is reminding students to pay attention, sit in their seat, stop talking, try harder, do better. Notice, where is the focus? It is very natural to ignore all of the many things going right and put your attention on the one thing going wrong. We do it to ourselves and each other all of the time! Our society is constantly focused on all of the negative situations occurring. I mean just watch a news program. What do you hear? Do you feel better about things or more depressed.
When a teacher has awareness and makes a choice to notice and voice out loud all of the positive occurrences going on, and see students in a positive way, students thrive and you end up seeing even more positive situations.
You can take this same principle and apply it to our problems, concerns, relationships, jobs, everything in our life. When I have a problem and I sit there thinking about it, focusing on it, worrying about it, nothing changes except I feel worse and discouraged. When I remember, and that is the crucial element here, to focus my attention on a solution, it arrives at the right time.
For instance, you might have an idea or interest in something and you have no idea how to make it happen. What you can do is focus on your idea, the feeling it produces, and trust that a solution comes. Again, I am not trying to figure it out. Instead, I am focusing on what I want and affirming that the solution comes at the right time.
There are SO many things going right in our life. Focus on that. Feel it. And when things come up, flip it. Affirm there is a solution, know it, feel it and let go.
That’s where magic happens.
One day you may meet a stranger or you see an old friend who points you in the right direction and in that moment, you get it. You don’t need to have it all figured out. But it is your right to dream, to do what you love, to celebrate your life and be happy! So flip it. Where is your focus?
Today I was reminded of the beauty that continues to happen with our awareness or not. So set your intent and trust the universe to fill in the details … pay attention to the nudges and watch the synchronicity of your life.
As I take time off for Thanksgiving break, I am reminded of all I am grateful for. I know some of you are struggling, sick, depressed, hurting in some way. For that reason, the Holidays can be a challenging and sad time for some. Please take comfort in knowing, this too shall pass. In my most painful moments in my life, when I was in it, it felt like it would last forever. There appeared no end in sight. It was scary and overwhelming.
I can’t know exactly how You feel.
I can only share that I have lived through my own terror – surprised that I made it. During my most challenging times, I reached out and asked for help. I allowed myself to feel and grieve. When ready, I allowed myself the pleasure of distraction, if only for a second, and turned away from the dread. I listened to myself. I looked into the mirror and gave a hug and declared “I love you.” When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I focused on all that I was thankful for…and one day, I realized I didn’t need to try anymore. It passed … and this continues to be the case.
No matter where you are at, I send you so much love during this time of Thanksgiving.
I am coming up on 20 years of marriage and 23 years together. In looking back, I am most grateful that Will didn’t quit on me. I am most grateful for the mentors and teachers along the way. When I would cry my eyes out and blame him for this or that, I was guided to the most aware teachers in my life. They would often stop me in my tracks and return the focus back on me. They would ask me, “what is this bringing up for you?” They would ask all the right questions until I remembered that I was the master of my happiness and the sky was the limit.
Will is my best friend. He has been the most perfect mirror reflecting back to me all that I could conceive. I have chosen to love one day at a time. I have chosen to show up. I have chosen to forgive time and again as he has had to as well.
When we met my capacity to accept and give unconditional love was very low but I had no idea at the time.
23 years later, my heart is so full…full of love, acceptance and an excitement of new beginnings for our next exciting chapter. The sky is the limit and I am so grateful I have you, my best friend, to walk this journey with me.