Keeping your cool

Composure is an important skill in parenting. It is important to model it and teach it to your child. If we can keep our cool in challenging times, we are modeling the same behavior in our children. Stress, lack of sleep and trigger thoughts are ingredients for aggression. Are you pampering and caring for yourself? Are you saying “yes” when you really want to say “no.” It is time to listen to yourself because not only does it benefit you, it benefits your children as well!

Stress reduction activities on a daily basis are extremely important. Some examples are practicing breathing or meditating together. Exercise is another ingredient. Putting our children on our “to do” list and making a point of spending quality, connection time with them is also important. Having routines, rituals and structures in place is another way to have less stress in our lives and the lives of our children. Trigger thoughts are thoughts we may say to ourselves when we are getting upset. These thoughts usually feed our anger and make the situation worse. We may say things like “everyone is out to get me,” “She is just trying to annoy me.” Affirmations or talking back to the trigger thoughts are helpful in reducing our anger. It works best when you change your idea about the situation and breathe at the same time. For instance taking deep breaths and breathing into your heart “I am strong” or “I am safe” or “I am enough” or “I like me” are all affirmations that can transform an angry moment into a teachable one. Model it and practice it with your child today!

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